Shay Miller

Share your military spouse story:
I met my husband while I was the mayor of my hometown, Leavenworth, Kansas, and he was stationed at Fort Leavenworth for ILE. We met just two weeks before he moved to Texas, we got engaged six months later—right before he deployed to Iraq—and married in Malta during his deployment R&R. That whirlwind beginning sums up military life: fast-paced, unpredictable, and full of adventure! At the time, I had a career, owned a business, and held elected office. Leaving that behind to become “just a spouse” wasn’t easy but as a former military kid, I understood that I wasn’t giving anything up, my life was simply evolving. At every duty station, I’ve found ways to serve—volunteering, leading FRGs and PTAs, serving on spouses’ club boards, and most recently establishing a food pantry to address food insecurity on our installation. Along the way, I’ve managed significant community funds, built lifelong friendships, and helped create lasting, positive change wherever we’ve been stationed.

Describe any leadership positions or provide an overview of your leadership contributions within the military community.
Leadership and service have always been at the core of who I am. Before becoming a military spouse I served in multiple elected positions, Mayor, City Commissioner, and School Board VP, alongside professional leadership roles in management and volunteer roles throughout my community. That commitment carried seamlessly into military life. At each duty station, I’ve taken on leadership and advisory roles within FRGs, led PTAs, served on spouses’ club boards, and volunteered across multiple organizations. My most recent leadership role began out of necessity. During the shutdown, food insecurity in our military community became an issue but there was no action. I stepped in, opened a food pantry in the basement of my on-post apartment, and began coordinating support. Within two weeks, the pantry expanded to four locations with chaplain support and dozens of volunteers. It’s a reflection of my leadership style: see a need, take action, and build a team to make lasting impact.

What programs or projects are you currently involved in that support the needs of military families?
The project I initiated and am currently helping to lead is the Stuttgart Military Community Pantry. It began in the basement of my apartment in response to food insecurity highlighted during the government shutdown. After seeing families ask if help existed—and realizing it didn’t—I took action. At its height the Pantry operated four contactless locations, one on each installation, providing free and convenient access to pantry staples for anyone with base access: active duty, families, civilians—everyone. What started with borrowed shelves, simple flyers and a FB page quickly grew through collaboration with the Garrison Chaplain, RSO staff and an incredible team of volunteers and community partners. In less than three weeks, the pantry expanded from a basement to serving the entire community and will now endure permanently. This project reflects my commitment to identifying unmet needs, mobilizing support, and creating sustainable resources that strengthen military communities.

What moments best reflect your impact on building inclusive community among military spouses?
The moments that best reflect my impact on building an inclusive military spouse community are where barriers—rank, role, family status, or circumstance—simply disappear. The community pantry is a clear example; it was intentionally designed to serve everyone: junior enlisted families, senior leaders, civilians, single Soldiers, and spouses alike. No sign-ins, no questions, no stigma—just neighbors helping neighbors. This happened because the community trusted the mission and felt welcome to participate. Spouses from every background stepped up to donate, volunteer, and advocate. Friendships formed between spouses who may never have crossed paths otherwise, united by service. Throughout my military spouse journey I have focused on creating spaces where everyone feels seen, valued, and empowered to contribute. Inclusion isn’t a program; it’s a culture. My impact is reflected in communities where people show up for one another, because they know they belong.

Identify your main advocacy effort and describe your personal connection to the cause.
My main advocacy effort is addressing food insecurity by initiating and leading the Stuttgart Military Community Pantry. My personal connection to this cause began when I realized families in our community were quietly struggling. During the government shutdown I read a post where a child had overheard classmates worrying about food. That was the moment it became clear to me that food insecurity was impacting our neighbors. I understand how quickly circumstances can change due to deployments, pay disruptions, PCS moves, or unexpected hardships. I also know how pride and fear of judgment can keep families from asking for help. That is why the Community Pantry was built on dignity, trust, and inclusion: contactless access, no sign-ins, and open to everyone. What started in a basement grew to serve the entire installation, powered by volunteers and community partners. This advocacy effort reflects my belief that strong military communities are built when we take care of one another.

Summarize your advocacy outreach strategies, including any events, media involvement, or other communication efforts.
My advocacy outreach strategies focus on meeting people where they are and using every platform available to amplify the message. I have experience communicating in public settings and with the media, including interviews with national outlets like Fox & Friends and NPR, as well as local television, print media, public meetings, and press conferences. For the Stuttgart Community Pantry, social media became our most effective grassroots tool. The Community Pantry FB page reached over 125,000 views with significant community engagement. Through strategic collaboration, I represented the pantry at Garrison Town Halls, General Officer briefings, and conducted live interviews on AFN. The pantry has also been highlighted in Stars and Stripes and the German newspaper Stuttgarter Zeitung, extending awareness beyond the installation. My outreach focuses on clear communication that builds trust, mobilizes action, and ensures military community issues are visible, understood, and addressed.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
I hope to use the Military Spouse of the Year platform to inspire others to serve in whatever capacity they feel called to—whether that is leading, volunteering quietly behind the scenes, or simply showing up for a neighbor in need. I want to help break down barriers that can exist within our communities, replace assumptions with understanding, and foster connections rooted in empathy and respect. I also hope to elevate conversations around the real challenges military families face, such as food insecurity, transitions, and access to support, while highlighting the power of grassroots solutions and community partnerships. Most importantly, I want military spouses to feel seen, valued, and empowered to use their unique skills, voices and experiences to build stronger, more inclusive communities. Through advocacy, collaboration, and compassionate leadership, my goal is to help military spouses feel empowered to take action, build community and solve problems.