Nicole B Gebhardt

Share your military spouse story:
I am a military spouse whose world broke the day I lost my son Samuel at 9 weeks old. That grief was followed by multiple miscarriages, spousal abuse & an addiction that nearly destroyed me. But 6 years ago, I chose to fight my way back & change the world. Today, I am 6 years sober—and I’ve taken every piece of my pain & turned it into purpose. Every time we PCS, I create pregnancy & infant loss support groups so no spouse grieves alone. I sit with mothers in the darkness I once lived in, helping them honor their babies & find their way back to life. I mentor spouses & run support groups for spouses facing addiction & abuse, sponsor military spouses in AA and walk beside women fighting for their sobriety and their safety. Through my coaching, support groups, being a #1 best-selling author who has published 4 books, I help spouses around the world rise from the wounds that once buried them. My mission is simple: no military spouse should ever have to survive their hardest battles alone.

Describe any leadership positions or provide an overview of your leadership contributions within the military community.
I feel very honored to hold many leadership positions within the military community. Here is a brief list of current and past leadership positions- •Eielson Air Force Base Spouses Club, President •National Guard Bureau Spouses' Club, Vice President & Secretary Spouses' Club •Military Officers Association of America, Spouse Advisory Council Committee Member  •Eielson Air Force Base Key Support Liason •168th Air Refueling Wing Key Support Liaison •165th Airlift Wing Operations Group, Key Spouse  •First Air Force, Key Spouse •Joint Base Andrews, Key Spouse •Tyndall Air Force Base Spouses Club, Social Events Chair •Infant Loss and Miscarriage Support Group for Eielson Air Force Base, Support Group Founder & Leader •Infant Loss and Miscarriage Support Group for Air National Guard Spouses in the DMV area including the Pentagon & Andrews AFB, Support Group Founder & Leader

What programs or projects are you currently involved in that support the needs of military families?
Here in Alaska and at Eielson AFB, I’m actively serving military families through programs that bring connection, healing, and hope. I speak at events for spouses recovering from addiction, abuse & for those navigating pregnancy or infant loss. I created & lead a Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group, giving spouses a safe place to grieve & heal. Every October, I host a candlelight vigil honoring children gone too soon within the local military community. I regularly hold coffee meet-ups for newly arrived spouses, organize family fun days & holiday events to keep our community connected. I host deployment dinners & Friendsgivings for families facing separations or far from loved ones. I am an active member of the Eielson Air Force Base Spouses Club, the Eielson Air Force Base & 168th Air Refueling Wing Key Support Program & am currently working on a project with leadership on Eielson on how to get more spousal involvement. My mission is to make sure no spouses here ever feel alone.

What moments best reflect your impact on building inclusive community among military spouses?
The moments that reflect my impact are when spouses tell me, “I don’t feel alone anymore.” I’ve built inclusive community at Eielson and in Alaska by creating support groups for pregnancy and infant loss, addiction recovery, and spouses healing from abuse. I lead weekly meetings, host circles for grieving mothers, and mentor spouses privately as they rebuild after trauma. I speak at events to give a voice to issues often hidden, and I connect spouses to resources the moment they arrive in Alaska so they have support before crisis hits. I’ve launched programs focused on healing, belonging, and rebuilding after each PCS. Through consistent advocacy, outreach, and showing up in the hardest moments, I’ve become a bridge—helping spouses feel seen, supported, and empowered to speak their truth.

Identify your main advocacy effort and describe your personal connection to the cause.
My main advocacy is pregnancy and infant loss—a cause painfully written into my own life. I lost my son, Samuel, to SIDS at just 9 weeks old. I’ve endured multiple miscarriages. The heartbreaking truth is 1 in 4 women will face pregnancy loss, and 3,400 infants die suddenly each year in the U.S. Yet, most military spouses face this grief often alone, moving every few years, rebuilding support systems, silenced by isolation. My pain became my purpose. I turned my heartbreak into action. I became the voice I once needed—creating safe spaces where grieving spouses can say the words they were told to swallow. Where spouses are seen, heard, and supported. I speak, I mentor, I organize, and I fight to make loss visible—so no one feels alone. This is my life’s work. It’s intimate, raw, and unwavering. I advocate so no military spouse walks through this alone. I am here to make sure our stories are heard—and to change the way our community supports the millions affected by these losses.

Summarize your advocacy outreach strategies, including any events, media involvement, or other communication efforts.
I speak at events and workshops nationwide as a keynote speaker, sharing my journey of loss, recovery, and transformation & providing practical guidance for others to find healing and empowerment. As a best-selling author, I have published 4 books—The Queen’s Companion Book, Broken Wings Broken Dreams: A Mother’s Life After Infant Loss and Miscarriage, The Healing Cocoon, and A Queen Saves Herself—I have reached women and military spouses all over the world. Social media is a cornerstone of my outreach, allowing me to connect with a broad audience, share resources, and engage in meaningful conversations. I have also expanded my advocacy through countless podcasts, news media interviews, magazine articles, and NPR interviews, including a feature on The Whitney Reynolds Show, a nationally syndicated talk show. Through these platforms, I am able to communicate my message effectively, raise awareness, and provide support to women and military spouses who need it most.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
With the AFI Military Spouse of the Year® title, I hope to shine a light on the unseen struggles of military spouses—grief, loss, addiction, abuse, and the isolation that comes with constantly moving and starting over again. I want to turn my story—my miscarriages, infant loss, abuse, addiction, the battles behind closed doors—into a lifeline for others. Showing others that their stories matter and their voices deserve to be heard. I aim to create lasting communities of support, healing, and empowerment, helping spouses know they are not alone, that their hearts can mend, and that even in the darkest seasons, strength, hope, and resilience can rise. I want to change lives—one conversation, one connection, one story at a time.