Destiny Cato

Share your military spouse story:
When I became a military spouse, I thought the biggest challenge would be moving every few years or managing deployments. I never imagined that my family’s greatest battle would be at home. Living in military housing, we faced conditions that slowly made our children sick. Mold, poor ventilation, and delayed maintenance turned our home into a health hazard. One of our children was life-flighted multiple times due to respiratory distress. Watching that unfold while my husband served overseas was terrifying and isolating. That experience forced me to step into advocacy in a way I never expected. I learned how to document issues, navigate military bureaucracy, and speak with authority and credibility to senior leaders at the Pentagon. I have met with Senators and Members of Congress, shared family stories, and worked to raise awareness about unsafe housing and its impact on children and service members. Through this journey, I realized that being a military spouse is not just about supporting our service members. It is about protecting families, creating community, and holding systems accountable. I have connected dozens of families across installations, helping them advocate for safe homes and navigate challenges that would otherwise go unheard. My story resonates because it shows the hidden struggles behind the uniform. It highlights the sacrifices, the resilience, and the unexpected roles military spouses take on. It is about turning fear and frustration into action and creating a community where families know they are not alone. Most importantly, it demonstrates that advocacy, leadership, and courage can emerge in any home, even when the battle feels personal and invisible.

Describe any leadership positions or provide an overview of your leadership contributions within the military community.
My leadership within the military spouse community is rooted in advocacy, mentorship, and empowerment. I lead by example, turning personal experience into actionable solutions that benefit families across installations. I have organized and facilitated networks of military spouses to share resources, support one another, and navigate complex housing and medical systems, fostering trust and collective action. I excel at coordinating initiatives that bring families’ voices to senior military leaders and policymakers, translating individual experiences into credible data and actionable recommendations. My leadership has included briefing Pentagon officials, meeting with Senators and Members of the House of Representatives, and partnering with base leaders to address unresolved concerns. I also mentor spouses to advocate for themselves and others, providing guidance on documentation, communication, and navigating bureaucracy.

What programs or projects are you currently involved in that support the needs of military families?
I am currently engaged in advocacy efforts focused on improving military housing safety, transparency, and family support. A central part of my work involves assisting military families who are experiencing unsafe housing conditions by helping them document concerns, navigate installation-level processes, and communicate effectively with base leadership to seek timely resolution. At a broader level, I have contributed to national advocacy efforts that led to the introduction of the Mold Act before Congress. In addition, I work to connect families across installations, collect data to identify systemic trends, and engage with senior military leaders and policymakers to promote lasting change. These efforts are focused on ensuring military families have safe homes, a clear voice in the system, and access to the support they need to thrive

What moments best reflect your impact on building inclusive community among military spouses?
Some of the most meaningful moments that helped build a strong, trusted community among military spouses came from creating safe spaces where families felt heard and protected. When spouses realized they could share their experiences without fear of dismissal or retaliation, trust began to form. Late-night calls during medical emergencies, walking families through complaint processes, and simply sitting with spouses who felt overwhelmed created bonds rooted in empathy and reliability. Another defining moment was bringing families together who had never met but shared similar housing and health challenges. Seeing spouses support one another, exchange resources. Perhaps the most powerful moments were when spouses who once felt powerless began helping others navigate the same challenges they had faced. Watching them grow into advocates themselves confirmed that the community we built was not just a support network, but a resilient, empowered force within the military spouse community.

Identify your main advocacy effort and describe your personal connection to the cause.
I never imagined that becoming a military spouse would also mean becoming an advocate, but when my family’s health and safety were put at risk, advocacy became a necessity. Like many military families, we trusted that military housing would be safe and healthy. Instead, prolonged exposure to unsafe living conditions, including mold, led to serious medical issues for our children, including repeated life flights, medical crises and housing complaints that were often minimized or ignored. Through this experience, I realized our family was not alone. I began documenting cases, connecting families, and elevating concerns to senior military leaders and Pentagon officials. I participated in high level discussions on military housing and helped ensure impacted families voices were heard. My advocacy is rooted in responsibility to our children, our service members, and the military community. Military spouses are not just dependents we are leaders advocates, and essential to mission readiness

Summarize your advocacy outreach strategies, including any events, media involvement, or other communication efforts.
My strategy centers on credible advocacy rooted in documentation, collaboration, and direct engagement with decision-makers. I collect and organize family experiences, medical impacts, and housing data to identify patterns and elevate concerns with accuracy and professionalism. I prioritize clear, respectful communication that connects personal stories to mission readiness, health, and accountability. I have traveled to the Pentagon to brief senior military leaders and participated in discussions focused on military housing oversight and family safety. I have also engaged with U.S. Senators and Members of the House of Representatives and their staff to share constituent experiences and advocate for stronger protections for military families.Through these efforts, I focus on turning individual crises into coordinated action that leads to awareness, accountability, and change

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
I hope to use the platform to elevate the voices of military families living in unsafe housing and to help drive meaningful, lasting change. Too often, housing concerns are minimized until families reach a crisis point. I want to help shift the culture from reaction to prevention by promoting transparency, accountability, and early intervention. I hope to collaborate with military leaders, housing advocates to highlight the direct connection between safe housing, family health, and mission readiness. By sharing real family experiences alongside credible data, I aim to support improvements in oversight, communication, and. responsiveness within military housing systems. Most importantly, I want military spouses to feel empowered to speak up without fear of retaliation and to know they are not alone. This title would allow me to advocate on a broader scale support families navigating housing challenges, and reinforce that protecting military families is essential to sustaining the force