Vince Afaisen

Share your military spouse story:
Hafa Adai, Family! I'm a male military spouse from Guam, having grown up as an Air Force military child. My spouse and I met while competing with The Madison Scouts Drum Corps from 2004 to 2005. We reconnected 11 years later and began dating long-distance, embracing the realities of military life. When my husband commissioned, same-sex relationships were not permitted. However, when the doors opened, so did our love story and my journey as a military spouse. We married in 2019 after a surprise engagement. I went from being his boyfriend to his husband in just one hour after two years of dating. Now, our family includes son Kaden, two dogs named Ellis Hugh and Jack, cats Luka and Loki, and two turtles named Bowser and Mint. My first experience as a military spouse began when we got stationed at Ft. Hood. We were there for three months before COVID-19 lockdowns kept us at home for an extended period. Once restrictions were lifted, I eagerly embraced and sought out the opportunity to participate in various activities to connect with other spouses, learn about military life, grow personally, and positively impact those around me. I wanted to meet other spouses, learn more about military life, grow personally, and positively impact those around me while fully immersing myself in my new role as an Army spouse. I joined the Spouses' Club and volunteered with several organizations, which helped me become acclimated to the community. As many can relate, our time there was short-lived as we moved again soon after. We've experienced several PCSs, one deployment, and numerous TDYs, making it easier to count the times we've physically been together. One of the best aspects of being a military spouse and part of the community is the opportunity to build new connections and relationships.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
Leadership is motivating & encouraging others, supporting & lifting individuals to be their best, and working together towards the same purpose & goals. I’m serving as the FLSC 2nd VP (2nd year) in planning, organizing & executing monthly socials for club members, community partners & guests. Attendance has been successful, and it has been a team effort to work with many board members & businesses to execute them properly. Working to fill the gaps and stepping in to help where more hands are needed is where I come in. These events are a full circle of experience for the members while working towards raising funds to give back in scholarships & grants. I have guided new board members to give them confidence in their positions. In addition to the FLSC, I’ve led a cooking series in partnership with Stronghold Food Pantry, involved & taught classes with the Girl Scout Troops, and encouraged others to participate in other community events.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
My involvement in the military community is ever-changing & growing. If there are needs, big/small, near/far, I want to be there. I’m motivated to use my time & talents to help other spouses, families, and soldiers by filling gaps where possible. It’s stepping in to fulfill tasks that don’t have someone assigned to them or starting from scratch for something that will benefit an individual, family, or group. I’m passionate about others feeling a part of the community & I immerse myself in any situation that will allow that to happen. I volunteer with the Spouses’ Club, support the Stronghold Food Pantry, Girl Scouts, and various events on and off post. I’m always ready to help locally or nationally, including traveling to the AUSA Conference in DC with ODYD. My most meaningful contributions often go unnoticed, but making a lasting impact, even through a listening ear, brings me great joy.

Describe how you support your community:
Support for our community is essential, and I am committed to showing up and making a difference. The greatest support comes from giving our time and presence. I dedicate every minute I can, knowing that even a moment can impact someone’s life. I invite fellow spouses to join me in various activities. I understand how easy it is to feel lost in this lifestyle, especially as a newer spouse of a seasoned soldier. Every spouse has value regardless of experience or status, and I strive to ensure they feel that. I focus on initiatives that benefit all spouses, regardless of level, gender, age, culture, or background. By highlighting the unique qualities of our community members, I aim to be approachable, welcoming, and trustworthy, helping others navigate the challenges of military life. Together, we can breathe, support each other, and thrive.

What do you advocate for? Why?
Advocacy is driven by passion! I passionately support involvement, community, relationships, and inclusion. As a male spouse in a same-sex marriage, my journey within the military spouse community has been transformative. I remember the challenges I faced and the lessons learned, and I'm committed to ensuring others never feel isolated in their experiences. I encourage everyone to live authentically and share their unique stories. Together, we can redefine what it means to be a spouse - by engaging with one another, celebrating victories, and supporting each other through tough times. Cultivating respect for one another and recognizing our collective struggles is essential. Giving back to our community is vital as we navigate military life. We are all battle buddies, and it's critical to make room for everyone to ensure no one is alone. Whether military life is short or long, the depth of our involvement will shape our experiences and leave a lasting imprint on us all.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
I actively spread awareness by seizing every opportunity to engage with my community, aiming to set a positive example for others by showing up consistently and participating in events promoting visibility for male, diverse, and same-sex marriage spouses, demonstrating that involvement can be enjoyable and fulfilling. This includes sharing personal experiences and inviting others to join in through calls, texts, and social media. By taking on various roles in volunteering and philanthropic initiatives, I have amplified our voices and reached a broader audience. Encouraging participation occurs through group presentations, where the goal is to motivate spouses who may not yet know about these opportunities. I've been privileged to share my story in a podcast and feature articles and contributing to projects highlighting male spouses' experiences. Through my storytelling and active participation, I hope to create an inviting atmosphere where everyone feels welcome and included.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
First, I’m grateful for the nomination! It’s connections with others that allow this honor. This title comes with responsibility, purpose & impact that I’d represent to its fullest! My drive is to get others involved, included, seen & heard. I’d use it to continue to build a network with spouses all over & connect others. I’d share my story & experiences on the importance of involvement, the benefits of building/creating relationships, the life of being a military spouse, my journey as a male & same-sex spouse, ups & downs with successes of going through change, and to give & receive the blessings of what military life offers. I’d continue to travel & represent at any installation or event to help make our community stronger & united! With today’s resources, I want to share stories & perspectives from all types of spouses & messages while showing my time as a ‘male’ spouse and how a spouse can be defined.