Valerie Mcnulty

Share your military spouse story:
Fourteen years of marriage means fourteen years of walking out this military lifestyle and adapting to change with every twist, turn, and curve ball thrown. From navigating the Army Reserve lifestyle to active duty Army and currently Coast Guard life, it's safe to say when my husband and I first said I do, we had no idea the adventure we were about to embark on. A month after we married, he set off on his first deployment (a 15-month one). To say that I felt alone in it all is an understatement. I was finishing my senior year of college, juggling a full-time schedule, an internship, and a job, all while attempting to be available for Skype calls from my husband that may or may not come (yes, this is before the glorious days of FaceTime). This pivotal time impacted me, ultimately paving the way for what was to come, and gave me a heart for the lonely military spouse. As we continued navigating this military life and added two little boys to our crew, this brought on a new, challenging element. During this time, my husband left for a nine-month rotation to Germany and an 11-month deployment to Afghanistan. During our almost four-and-a-half years in Colorado, I was solo parenting most of that time. This time apart sparked the idea for my latest children's book, Never "Goodbye." Always "See You Later!" I watched my boys adjust to the time apart from their dad and longed to encourage them and ultimately remind them of the love their dad has for them. Once I began working on the book, I knew it was intended for more than just my family. As our family continues to hop from place to place in this military life, I aim to seek out the lonely and the hurting. I have the honor of encouraging military wives and children through writing. While there are so many circumstances in this lifestyle that are genuinely out of our hands as spouses, one thing I can control is intentionally being there for other military families and reminding them how they are seen, known, and loved.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
At our previous duty station, I had the honor of starting a local IF: Table for military wives to have a monthly safe space to come together and talk. IF is designed to bypass the small talk and intentionally dive into the hard conversations. Starting an IF: Table at a new duty station was a risk. I only knew a handful of people, and honestly, I wasn't sure if anyone would come, but I am so grateful that I didn't allow my fears or hesitation to stand in the way. Our monthly meetings began at a local church, but after a year of meeting consistently, the chapel on Fort Drum created a space for us, and the group thrived. When it was time for me to move, a group of ladies chose to keep hosting events. Stepping out in faith and organizing this event created a ripple effect within our military community, with military wives choosing to start their own IF: Tables at their new duty stations, eagerly desiring to reach more military wives navigating this life alone.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
One of the key ways that I serve the military community is by volunteering at Homefront Heroes Ministries. I have the honor of being their Assistant Director of Content and leading a team of 11 military wives to create and publish positive and encouraging content for the military wife. Our mission at Homefront Heroes is to reach the hurting and lost military wife and remind her where her hope is found. I love writing with the military wife in mind. I know the challenges of the lifestyle and understand the emotions that come with it. It's an honor to give back in this way. I have also served in leadership capacities within PWOC as the outreach chair. I have been the military ministry leader for a local church in Fort Drum, NY. I also organized a local IF: Table for Fort Drum and planned and hosted a local military parents' night out around the holidays. Through every role and every event, my primary goal is to encourage military families and remind them of a greater hope.

Describe how you support your community:
One way I support my military community is through the HFH "I Am Her" campaign every year in May. Two years ago, I had an idea for a reel for our social media accounts that ultimately became more significant. I wanted to remind each military wife that God's definition of them and their role as military wives vastly differs from what is voiced in our society. He sees them as strong, worthy, determined, and capable. We celebrated the military wife all month long rather than just one day. We passed the microphone to her, wanting to hear and celebrate her story. In the past two years of this campaign, we've honored 90 military wives and their stories. This campaign is now something I look forward to each year, and I hope to watch it grow for years to come. Military wives are so much more than how the world sees them; I love celebrating that and cheering them on.

What do you advocate for? Why?
I advocate for the silent ranks in our military community—the men, women, and children who stand unwaveringly on the sidelines and support their service members. The love and loyalty they show while trying to balance everything the military throws at them is something to be admired. Some, like my boys, didn't choose this life; they were born into it. Watching them navigate the hurdles of this lifestyle and encouraging them along the way continues to light my fire to use my voice for good, speak truth in love, and encourage those who may feel alone or hurt. 

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
Thanks to Homefront Heroes Ministries, I have been able to advocate for the military wife community in several ways, such as writing social media content, speaking at events, creating Bible reading plans through the Youversion Bible App, planning outreach ideas and campaigns, and appearing on various podcasts, sharing about my story and HFH. I have also been blessed to have my social media accounts as an author, which have opened doors for interviews and have recently been featured on the cover of a magazine. One of the wildest experiences on this military journey was being interviewed on Good Morning America as I shared a story from our PCS experience and advocated for change. Through all this, I have learned that the military community is excellent at rallying together and supporting one another.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
As the AFI Military Spouse of the Year, I hope to continue seeking out the hurting and lost military wife. This title would allow me to meet more military wives who need encouragement and position me to offer resources and community opportunities to equip them to thrive rather than just survive in this military life. We at HFH have big goals for reaching the military wife community, and this opportunity would greatly benefit our mission and further our reach. I would love to see HFH as a trademark name for every duty station, so no matter how many moves or deployments a military wife has to go through, we can remind her that she isn't alone and there is always hope. In the meantime, I will keep writing, creating resources, and encouraging military families in my sphere of influence.