Lakita Oats

Share your military spouse story:
I'm currently at Fort Leonard Wood, MO, which was my first duty station as mil spouse. I became a military spouse almost 12 years ago on my birthday, the day after my husband came back from deployment. It's such a full circle moment to be here where we began military life together. In the time I’ve been a military spouse, together, we've experienced 3 pcs moves (1 being OCONUS), 1 unaccompanied assignment, several TDYs, 1 birth (yup, post deployment baby), completed 3 degrees between the two of us, had 1 child graduate high school, and bought our forever home while stationed in San Antonio, TX. A unique part of our mil story is that I’ve been with my husband through his military career for the last 20 years. We have three children together, 19, 14, and 10 year old daughters. We have experienced 2 deployments and 2 unaccompanied assignments, along with three duty stations in the beginning years of my husband's career. Through it all, creating a village has always been a necessity to me. I'll never forget when I first moved away as a very young adult. I partly agreed to finally stop our long distance family because FLW is close to Chicago, I wouldn't be too far from family. I remember crying nearly everyday for two weeks! I felt so isolated in the rural town and had no idea what to really expect. I started caring for a few single soldier's children while they worked and eventually registered with the state as a home childcare provider. I quickly began to connect with people in the community and volunteer with the church. Once we got married and moved on base, I stopped providing childcare and focused on volunteering and growing a little human. Having our daughter with just me and my husband was new. He was deployed during our 1st daughter's birth, and was at another station for our 2nd (we didn't time his leave right). I am forever grateful for my mil spouse friends and local friends for being a blessing to our family. The mil community has helped shape who I am.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
Since my first duty station as a military spouse I've immersed myself in volunteer work within the military community through FRGs, my girls' schools & sports, child, youth, services, and local churches. Over the years I have held various officer positions for PTO, Advisory Boards, and currently with the Executive Board for the Fort Wood Community Spouses Club. These titles have ranged from Secretary to President to Public Relations. In my profession, I have held leadership roles for the last 6 years, previously as a Director in early education and currently as a Program Manager supporting Foster & Adoptive families. Yet, I believe a title, position, or status, does not make me a leader. It is my heart to serve and lead by example. So whether I'd held official positions or not, I believe my leadership is always evident through my servanthood.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
Being away from biological family, I learned the importance of building a village of support among my military community. I've made lifelong family friends with other military spouses. I remember 14 years ago when I first moved to FLW area, I watched children in my home as a registered state home childcare provider. Most of my families were military, at least half were single parents. I experience my second deployment and leaned on my community, keeping myself occupied by participating in the FRG and volunteering at a local community center. I continued volunteering with the FRG while we were stationed in South Korea, as almost everyone is away from home/bio family over there. We were a tight community. I enjoyed hosting family game nights, dinners, and celebrating holidays with our friends turned family. In Texas, my girls participated in the Child, Youth Services from pre-k through teen center. We depended on those connections while my husband was on an unaccompanied assignment.

Describe how you support your community:
I think I have such a passion for giving back and supporting my community, because I have been poured into so much throughout my life. Not only do I support the whole community, military affiliated and those in the surrounding areas through volunteering with various organizations, I support my community in my profession. My bachelor's degree is in Human Services because I have a passion for it. My master's degree is in Early Childhood Education Leadership because for several years, I found myself working with children and families, and wanted to expand my expertise and serve my team and our families better. In the last year, I have gone back to school for a second master's degree in Social Work, so I can continue to learn how best to serve my community. I volunteer with various organizations focused on the foster care community, homeless/poverty population, and military spouses and the surround community. I like to attend community events to support local initiatives and businesses.

What do you advocate for? Why?
I advocate for so many people and communities, especially children and families in my community. For 16 years, I've advocated for quality and affordable childcare for children and their families. My first job as I finished my bachelor's degree and after receiving it, was as a Family Advocate for Head Start. The reason that's significant to me was because as a teen parent, experiencing homelessness in Chicago, there was an amazing Head Start program that I received free resources, encouragement, and support from. As a teen, I knew one day, I would be a voice and support for those who need it. No matter which community, there is always someone and something to advocate for. I know the power of advocacy and the difference it can make for someone, because I was once the person needing someone to advocate for me. The underserved and voiceless should know they are worthy of support and deserve a voice. I hope to continue to be that for many.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
Right now I am the Public Relations Officer for the Spouses' Club. This means I get to share and advocate for whats going on or needed in our community using social media. We have over 3000 followers on Facebook and I've seen how our posts help the community know whats happening or available for them. For example, during elections last year, a lot of military service members and dependents are not registered to vote in the state we live in currently. Another spouse reached out to me with information that could benefit our community, and sure enough while I was in line at the polls, a service member and his wife mentioned being there due to the FB post. I mostly use my personal social media, Linked In, for discussing/reposting info impacting children, caregivers, foster/adoptive families, and military dependents. I am also pretty vocal in person, as well, and have been known to be passionate, so I'm constantly asked to volunteer at new events and initiatives, where I share my passion.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
I hope to inspire all military spouses to live authentically. I get the best of both worlds, where I have older children and a school age child, my husband has served for over 20 years, so I'm familiar with military life away from my spouse, as a stay at home mom, as a full time student, and as a working professional. Yet, a lot of my mil spouse friends still see me as one of the younger spouses. I'm not sure if it's my youthful appearance and colorful hair ;-) or my energy, but I am grateful to be an influence for younger and experienced spouses. It is possible not to "do it all" at once and still be recognized for what you bring to the community. It's more common to see working spouses with limited time to volunteer or fellowship, but that doesn't mean it's any less valuable than those who dedicate several hours a week. I want to celebrate the shift in representation and encourage all spouses to get involved however they can so they have their much needed village.