Jennifer Barnhill

Share your military spouse story:
My name is Jennifer Barnhill, and I have been a salty Navy spouse for nearly 19 years. I met my now-husband in 2004 while I was working at the Smithsonian American Art Museum. I had my eyes on getting a Ph.D. in Art History and had a full scholarship lined up. But my best-laid plans were derailed by his dress whites. I did a highly unfeminist thing, choosing to find my relevance in this world by following my heart, not my career. What I did not fully comprehend was my marriage to the military and how hard it was for me to find my relevance within this institution. Early on in my life as a military spouse, the military was relevant to me in that it took my husband far away. It was a lifestyle that asked that I put my career on hold, leaving my family, friends and job to follow my new husband around the world, including FL, CA, NV, Japan (twice) now back to where we met at the Naval Academy. I didn't understand the military, why we couldn't take leave or why we couldn't make plans in advance. That all changed for me when I joined my first spouse club on my husband’s very first deployment while living in Atsugi Japan. We celebrated holidays and anniversaries together during deployments, we made ourselves available no matter the time of day. We were “framily”. So, when one day one member of my “military framily” revealed a devastating diagnosis, my heart sank. Our spouse group, however well-intentioned, was not set up to support this type of situation. We were barely able to schedule fun social events and only did so if our calendars (and the stars) aligned. Luckily the family already had an established network in the area that supported their needs. But what if they had been new to the area? I saw there was a gap between the support that was needed and the support our military community was prepared to provide. So, I began researching/reporting on military family issues. I found people cared but needed to hear our stories. So, I started telling them.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
In 2023 I participated in the George Bush Stand-To Veteran Leadership Program alongside others who wanted to help some aspect of the military and veteran community. During this program, I had the opportunity to have dinner with President Bush. I was in this program because I wanted to share the importance of sharing military spouse stories, but when my turn came, I didn't do what everyone expected. Instead of sharing one of many military spouse stories, I told President Bush about my dad who was in Tower One on 9/11. Rather than promote my agenda, I wanted to make a personal connection. It is easy to let agendas lead our actions, but we always have to remember that the most important work we do is building community. I have also been fortunate to work with NMSN, serve as the COO for Partners in PROMISE, write a column for military.com, and help erect the first statue honoring military spouses: https://weservetoo.substack.com/p/first-statue-honoring-military-spouses

Describe your involvement in the military community:
I have worked with nearly every organization that serves the military spouse community in my capacity as a military reporter who covers military family topics. The stories I write rely upon military families trusting me with their stories. Despite covering some frustrating circumstances, the stories I write always focus on finding reasonable solutions because I have never met a military spouse facing a problem, who didn't also have a solution in mind. As a Navy spouse, who married a midshipman, I am a huge Navy football fan (Go Navy!). I am thrilled to get to live just outside of Annapolis. It is so inspiring to see future generations of sailors and to support them as I get to know my new local community. Here are some of the topics I have written about: https://www.military.com/author/jennifer-barnhill

Describe how you support your community:
I tell our stories, and I am not afraid to ask tough questions of our leaders. Military spouses tell me that they feel as though they are outsiders to both the military and civilian communities. As a reporter and researcher, I believe it is my duty to tell the stories of military families so that the leaders tasked with solving the problems faced by our community can better understand our experiences and initiate positive change. But understanding and change begin with information. When confronted with compelling stories that lacked data, I collected it. I have produced research on military children in special education for Partners in PROMISE, military spouse groups survey, and am about to publish a book in May 2025 that features research about resilience, military spouse volunteerism and more. The reason? One story can be ignored. When you tell stories and contextualize it with data, you can drive positive change.

What do you advocate for? Why?
I advocate by telling the stories of military spouses. So, in that way, I am an advocate for the things they choose to share. I’m an advocate for their voices, voices that are so often a whisper, spread too thin, being everything for the ones they love. When they meet me, they are often in a place where they are ready to take action. They are helping improve childcare access or raise awareness about food insecurity. They are the boots on the ground who need a megaphone. I am proud to get to amplify their ideas and work. I write their stories because, as a reporter, I know how the media sees us. To some Americans, we are welcome home signs. Or we are symbols for the cost of war, folded flag in hands and tears streaming down faces. While we may be those things, we are more. And the only way that will change is if we tell our stories, not just to each other, but to the 99% who don’t have a family member who serves.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
I started writing articles about military spouses for Military Spouse Magazine and Military Families Magazine back in 2018. This helped me get to know the community. Fast forward to today and I write a column for Military.com and am about to publish my first book about the military community (September 2025). I participated in the Bush Stand-To Veteran Leadership Program which helped me launch a program called Military Dinner Table Conversations (https://weservetoo.substack.com/), a monthly reverse town hall where I interview military spouses about the topics that impact recruitment and retention…the conversations we all have around the dinner table. I use these Conversations to inform what I write for military.com. I have been grateful to have had the opportunity to share my work and project on CNN, Military Veterans in Journalism, the Bush Institute, members of Congress and countless publications and podcasts.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
While I love writing about military spouses, we need more military spouses telling their own stories at every level—to friends and the leaders to write the laws that impact us. Military spouses are ambassadors. We have the ability to help the nation and the world better understand what it means to be a member of a military family; to learn about our ups and our downs. Although all of us have compelling stories, it can be hard to effectively communicate our experiences to different audiences. What we would share with a new neighbor may not be the story we would share with a military leader or a member of Congress. If afforded the opportunity to participate in this program, I would work to help military spouses tell their own stories in a manner that feels true to the heart of their message, while remaining relevant to a larger audience. I can’t tell everyone’s story, but I can help the community do it themselves.