Crystal Bettenhausen Bubulka

Share your military spouse story:
This year marks 20 years of proudly holding the title of "Military Spouse," a role that took me nearly 19 years to fully embrace. What began as a reluctant association has become a source of profound strength and resilience. Over the past five years, I’ve faced challenges that pushed me, and our military community, to the brink of burnout. Yet, together with military spouses around the globe, we found strength in our service, discovered antifragility, and grew in ways we never imagined. My story isn’t unique; military spouses are antifragile by nature. Through radical uncertainty, I leaned into a growth mindset, finding purpose in adversity and ultimately redefining what it meant to be a military spouse. I owe much of this evolution to my spouse and the United States Navy, which has shaped our lives and allowed us to live worldwide, including Japan, the Middle East, and Hawaii. But San Diego has always felt like home—a cornerstone of our journey since it was our first duty station. Though shaped by the Navy, my story began on a third-generation family farm in North Dakota. There, my grandparents taught me the values of resilience, hard work, and service, principles that inspired me to pursue dual master’s degrees in gerontology and social work while navigating PCS moves and my husband’s deployment to Afghanistan. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I provide psychotherapy and clinical supervision across North Dakota, Hawaii, and California. During the pandemic, I launched a telehealth practice while homeschooling three daughters, and in 2023, I expanded to a group practice. Now pursuing a Doctorate in Social Work, I focus on eradicating social isolation, one of the Grand Challenges in Social Work. In 2024, I founded Strength in Service, a nonprofit championing social health advocacy and military spouse empowerment. My journey is rooted in compassion and driven by a commitment to creating meaningful connections, proving that we can thrive and inspire others.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
From my first leadership class at the Davis School of Gerontology to becoming a Pat Tillman Scholar, leadership has guided my journey. In Bahrain, unable to earn clinical hours, I led a diverse volunteer team of 22 nationalities, training them to support survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault. I co-founded a Military Spouse Professional Network chapter in Hawaii, earning worldwide recognition as Chapter of the Year. Leadership is a cornerstone of social work ethics, and I embraced it further through the Military Spouse Advocacy Network’s Leadership Program. My training empowered me to support someone in crisis on the Coronado Bay Bridge, highlighting the transformative power of connection. Founding a nonprofit to combat loneliness and mentor future social workers reflects my dedication to service and creating meaningful impact. Guided by the Tillman Foundation’s pillars of service, scholarship, humble leadership, and impact, I strive to care for my community daily.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
Throughout my spouse’s service, I’ve consistently raised my hand to support wherever the Navy took us, from volunteering at thrift shops and bake sales to advocating for command spouses’ concerns. Volunteering feels ingrained in the DNA of military spouses, and over the years, I’ve found a deep passion for philanthropy and community engagement. Serving on the board of Sanddollar Too, a boutique where proceeds supported local scholarships and organizations, was especially fulfilling as it aligned with my career goals and allowed me to see the tangible impact of our efforts. As my family has grown, my focus has shifted to promoting the missions of organizations like Operation Gratitude and United Through Reading. These programs, which have supported my own family, inspire me to share the ease and joy of volunteering with others. My involvement has one guiding principle: it must feed my soul, and through countless opportunities, I’ve found deep gratitude and fulfillment in giving back.

Describe how you support your community:
My mantra of "get curious" drives my community-building advocacy, fostering inclusiveness and civic engagement. Inclusiveness, rooted in my core beliefs and professional ethics, is vital to preventing social isolation and loneliness. I've witnessed firsthand the transformative power of belonging, especially for military teens, which inspired me to create the Agents of Change Scholarship to support high school seniors pursuing social work. Belonging strengthens communities, creating a buffer against challenges and enabling us to support the missions of our armed forces better. As a Girl Scout leader and school volunteer, I’ve found inspiration in our youth while identifying areas for growth. Serving as an Anchored for Life advisor, I’ve seen the impact of deployments, grief, and PCS moves through the eyes of tweens. These experiences fuel my nonprofit’s mission to build social health, helping military families find strength in their service proving that we are stronger together.

What do you advocate for? Why?
I advocate for social health—the ability to form meaningful connections, foster trust, and maintain a sense of belonging within military communities. This is essential at every phase of the military journey, from the first day of service into retirement. I believe that social health is the missing link to building strong relationships, as it fosters mutual support and empowers individuals. By promoting belonging and supportive relationships, we can encourage collective growth and resilience. Understanding the detrimental health impacts of loneliness and social isolation is critical. Social health programs and policies, combined with accessible, timely, and quality mental health care that meets the unique needs of the military-connected community, are essential. These visions are the foundation of our nonprofit. By integrating physical, mental, and social health, we can prevent suicide among our service members and families and help individuals thrive amidst stress and uncertainties.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
Throughout nearly two decades as a military spouse and during the creation of my business and nonprofit, I’ve honed my skills in networking and effective communication. The challenges I’ve faced have provided valuable lessons, allowing me to grow in professional communication and public relations. I’ve had the privilege of sharing my mission by accepting an award from the San Diego Red Cross, speaking at the United Through Reading Storybook Ball, and engaging with civic and military organizations through public appearances. These in-person opportunities are a priority in my mission to foster connection. Additionally, I leverage social media platforms to amplify my message, creating spaces for dialogue and engagement. Guest appearances on podcasts have further strengthened my confidence in delivering impactful messages. As a leader with the National Association of Social Workers- CA, I use my voice and networks to advance social health agendas, empowering with meaningful communication.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
In reflecting on this nomination, I identified my "why." I realized my desire to be publicly recognized isn’t about me—it’s to honor all military spouses. Each spouse, regardless of their journey, deserves recognition for their sacrifices, though many would humbly dismiss such acknowledgment. Military spouses are often fatigued, burned out, and overwhelmed by the fight for quality medical care, safe housing, and a sense of belonging. Anxiety, isolation, and the pressures of modern life often leave us disconnected. I hope to share my vulnerabilities and my journey of surviving suicidal ideation and advocate for the transformative power of social health. By fostering meaningful connections, we can create the optimism and change our military families need for future generations. I want to get curious about the unique challenges of today’s military families and work to create innovative solutions that remind us all: we are stronger together.