Caroline Kathryn Schafer

Share your military spouse story:
Can I put all of the amazing experiences I've had as a military spouse of 23 years into one story? Not exactly. But I can share a glimpse of the most unforgettable moment. The one that started it all. The one where my spouse and I were in our late twenties, married for two years, three kids already, and he raised his right hand to take an oath to serve. The oath that isn't confined to the uniform because we both believe it's a way of life. To us, service is a mindset, an attitude, and a way of life. In 2002, we moved away from a family we had always known, to a place where new friends would become like family. Because when you go through long deployments together, babysit each other's children, take a meal to a family who has just moved in, or sit with a spouse at a memorial service, connections happen and deep friendships are formed. Friendships that teach you that you are not alone on this journey. There is always someone who will cheer you on, just like me. That's what I do. It's who I am. My children, who are grown and gone, will be the first to tell you that I will always find a way to lift someone up. I will always find a way to elevate those around me. I will always find the silver lining in anything. As the one who took care of the home through five deployments, and volunteered for wherever I was needed, the one thing that I believe is you must always keep kindness, compassion, courage, and gratitude at the front of all you say and do. No, it's not easy, but it's also not impossible. We still have quite a few years left on this military journey, but everywhere we go is an opportunity to connect compassionately with other spouses to remind them they are amazing! For now, Fort Riley, Kansas is home until the army decides where we call home next.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
Once upon a time, I would've told you I'm not a leader because I don't want to be "in charge." However, being in charge doesn't make someone a leader, service does. I have served my community in many different capacities. I have been the Point of Contact for the Soldier and Family Readiness Group when our troops deployed to Iraq in 2003. I held a position on the Steering Committee for our Brigade during war time. I served as a Sunday School teacher, Hospitality Chair for PWOC, EMFP advocate, gave briefings for the American Red Cross, dressed up as Mrs. Claus for holiday events, volunteered with Army Wife Talk Radio, hosted the Spouse-ly I'Mpossible podcast, and I even taught another spouse to drive. All of these opportunities, and more, allowed me to grow as a leader, plus obtain the Iron Mike Award. Leadership isn't just about what I've done, but how others feel about themselves when I've served them. If they have more belief in themselves, then I have done my job as a leader.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
Understanding someone else's viewpoint and perspective takes active listening and engagement. By doing this, I was able to get involved where I was not only needed, but I could find those areas I am most passionate about, such as volunteering at the on-post library to read to children. I also find it important to join the spouse's club and attend the meetings. Plus, to get involved within the unit we are currently assigned to and volunteer for a place within the SFRG. Even getting involved with organizations that support our military. Involvement means community and community means everything.

Describe how you support your community:
Resilience is the word that best describes how I support the military spouse community. By leaning into those moments I received support, I became more confident in my ability to weather the storms. It's crucial that others know they are supported, regardless of what they're going through. And if I cannot directly provide assistance, I will find someone who can. I will connect them with the person or organization they need in order to give them the support so they can strengthen the resilience within themselves. That's what support is - holding them up, walking alongside them, reminding them who they are - a resilient military spouse.

What do you advocate for? Why?
Advocacy in our community is something that brings me a lot of joy. I will speak up for those that cannot or will not speak for themselves. However, it's even better to teach others they can be their own advocate, they only need to act on the courage within themselves. Which is exactly what I advocate for - other military spouses to know they are capable of accomplishing so many things! That they are a part of a community that needs them and their uniqueness. That they can make a difference in their lives and the lives of others.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
Genuine authenticity is the message I spread. There is no room for anything else. I have had the opportunity to represent multiple spouse organizations as their spokesperson for such things as the PBS National Memorial Day Concert where I had the opportunity to interview Bryan Cranston, and PBS A Capitol Fourth Concert where I interviewed Loren Allred. I have had the opportunity to do this for the past few years. Like many people, my social media platforms are the main way I spread the message of believing in yourself. However, as a podcaster, that's my favorite way to share a message of support.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
Empowering others to love themselves, believe in themselves, and advocate for themselves, that's what I hope I would accomplish with the title. For there is nothing greater than watching someone realize they always had the courage within themselves, they just needed someone to show them it was there. As the AFI Military Spouse of the Year®️winner, I would continue to speak to each military spouse about how important they are as an individual to this wonderful community. That every time they connect with other spouses, they are forging a path for those who are just beginning this journey. That have the courage within themselves to serve and advocate for themselves and others, making a difference in lives they may never even know. (By the way, if you look at the first letter of each of these topics, I spelled a word I believe defines the military spouse.)