Carey Killea

Share your military spouse story:
I never expected meeting Fred would lead to anything more than a fleeting moment. At the time, I was in the process of transitioning out of the Army, focused on my future, and wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. After eight months of long-distance dating, everything changed. Fred proposed while deployed to Bosnia, and I found myself sitting in my childhood home, overwhelmed by the love and commitment we were about to share. Uncertain of the challenges ahead of me as a military spouse and still seeking a career of my own, I enlisted back into the Army. It was a decision we made with love and understanding, a decision I would never change, despite the challenges it brought. Fast forward five years through field exercises, training, and deployments, we were blessed with the new challenges parenthood brings. A month before our daughter turned two, Fred and I were deployed, and our daughter spent 15 months with our parents. As a dual-military couple, our children spent more time in childcare than with us; every moment feeling like felt like a piece of us was missing. Missing birthdays, holidays, and milestones was heartbreaking, but we made it through together, day-by-day, clinging to the hope that we would all be together again. After 24 years of service, I retired. My transition to civilian life as a military spouse was harder than I ever imagined. Everything felt different, and at times, I felt lost. Staying connected with other military spouses reminded me I wasn’t alone. We walked this journey together, and their support helped me find my place. Being a military spouse has shaped me in ways I never expected. It tested my strength, my patience, and my heart. We’ve missed so many precious moments, but we’ve also built an unshakable bond—one forged through love, sacrifice, and resilience. To anyone just starting this journey: Lean on your community, embrace the challenges, and never forget—you’re never alone. We’re all in this together.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
I have had the opportunity to serve in several leadership roles as a military spouse at the company, battalion, and garrison levels. I have served as a Soldier and Family Readiness Group (SFRG) Leader and Advisor. I have assisted Commanders with reestablishing and building their SFRGs and have created a consolidated resource database for all to use. While stationed at Fort Irwin, I had the honor of being selected to lead the Fort Irwin Newcomers Spouse Orientation program, providing spouses with information on the installation, local resources, and available opportunities. I worked alongside leaders to bring back and facilitate in-person Army Family Team Building training for over 300 spouses. As the President of the Fort Wood Community Spouses’ Club, I am responsible for our vision, executive management, and our social and philanthropic goals. We have raised over $13K towards our Community Grant and Scholarship program and expect to double that amount with our Annual Basket Auction.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
I feel the need to stay connected with military spouses, grow resource networks, and serve our military communities. As the Fort Wood Community Spouses’ Club President, I have had the opportunity to plan over a dozen community-based events, engage with over 1K newly arriving Soldiers and Family Members, and am excited for the opportunity to award grants and scholarships to community members this spring. I am actively involved with my husband's SFRG, hosting monthly coffee meetups, sending newsletters, welcoming spouses, and supporting the Military Police Regimental Association with family days and graduations across three battalions. At Fort Irwin, I co-chaired the spouses’ club boutique bringing consignment opportunities to over 100 home-based businesses, creating a supportive network of military spouse entrepreneurs, and allowing small businesses to grow and prosper. Additionally, I had the honor of organizing and hosting two Youth Business Fairs for 21 military children.

Describe how you support your community:
We’ve moved twice since I retired, and each time, I sought out opportunities within the community to serve. I assisted the Red Cross at Fort Irwin in establishing two locations, bringing valuable resources to military ID card holders, including a Dental Assistant Training Program. I continue to volunteer with our local Red Cross office supporting our military and their families. Veterans make up a vast portion of our military community, especially near military installations. I have had the honor of volunteering with the Wounded Warrior Project (WWP) for the past six years leading non-clinical peer support groups, hosting virtual and in-person events for wounded warriors and their families, and providing outreach to transitioning Soldiers and their Family Members about the free programs and assistance offered by the WWP. I hosted two Bataan Memorial Death Marches with Team RWB, bringing over 50 active-duty members, veterans, and families together.

What do you advocate for? Why?
As a military spouse, I passionately advocate for empowering military families to stand strong in the face of life's toughest challenges. I’ve experienced the highs and lows of military life, the uncertainty, the distance, and the constant change, but I’ve also seen the incredible strength within our community when we support one another. I advocate for resources that help military spouses build their careers, manage mental health, and achieve financial independence. It’s about more than just surviving; it’s about thriving, finding joy, and knowing that you are never alone. My mission is to ensure that every military spouse feels seen, valued, and empowered to create the life they deserve, no matter the obstacles. When we support each other, we become unstoppable.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
I am fortunate to have a network of military spouses who have empowered me through their guidance and mentorship throughout my military journey. Their support has inspired me to “pay it forward” by spreading a message of empowerment, value, and being seen. Every day, I engage with military spouses in every community I live and work in, fostering connections and offering encouragement. Through volunteering with various agencies, I’ve had the privilege of meeting military spouses from all branches and components, at different stages of their journey. Each interaction is an opportunity to share resources, provide support, and remind them they are not alone. By embracing mentorship and building community, I strive to empower others just as I have been empowered.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
If I’m fortunate enough to be named the AFI MSOY, I want to use this opportunity to shine a light on the incredible resilience, strength, and sacrifices that military spouses make every single day. I’ve experienced firsthand how isolating and overwhelming military life can be, and I want to help others feel less alone. I hope to create a network where military spouses feel supported, valued, and empowered to pursue their dreams and goals, no matter the challenges. I want to help bring attention to the emotional and mental health needs of our community, create spaces for connection and healing, and work towards better resources that address our unique struggles. Ultimately, I hope to be a voice for those who might not feel like they have one and to inspire others to embrace their power, no matter where this journey takes them.