Allysia Hughes

Share your military spouse story:
Although I have been a military spouse for nearly 15 years, it wasn't until year 7 that I truly embraced and understood the impact I could have. In 2017, friends encouraged me to be President of the Scott Spouses' Club. I had no prior experience in leadership nor with spouses' clubs, so although I was nervous, I jumped into the role wholeheartedly. I made mistakes, but I ultimately grew as a person and a military spouse. I consider this push from my friends to be the catalyst that started my journey as an avid volunteer within the military community. In addition to being a military spouse and volunteer, I am also a mom of three boys, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, and a teacher. My boys, especially my oldest who is autistic, have taught me patience and the importance of looking at things from different perspectives. They remind me that there is often more to a situation than meets the eye, and our uniqueness is what makes us who we are. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education, which I used for 1 year before the military relocated us, leading my life in a different direction. Although I may not teach in an official capacity anymore, I am a teacher at heart. I love to share my ever-growing knowledge with others to help them thrive. This passion is why I have served as a Key Spouse Mentor and an Air Force Spouse Mentor with MSAN. In true military fashion, I continued to pursue my passion for supporting military spouses, even during a mid-year OCONUS PCS in 2024. Just a few months after starting my role as an MSAN Air Force Mentor, I was excited to be awarded Volunteer of the Quarter. I also was given the chance to step into the position of MSLDP Coordinator with MSAN. I am grateful for this opportunity because it lets me do what I love most—helping others thrive. Additionally, I had the honor of being nominated for the Joan Orr Spouse of the Year award. I look forward to continuing the momentum from 2024 to do, be, and give even more in 2025.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
During my time in MSAN’s Military Spouse Leadership Development Program, I learned that everyone has the potential to be a leader, and leadership encompasses much more than just “leading down”. I have held the role of Presidency for two spouses’ clubs and as a Key Spouse (Mentor) for three squadrons. Regardless of my titles, I always strive to uplift and support those around me. You can find me helping others whether it’s helping them through a difficult time or taking their work from good to great, as well as celebrating the achievements of leaders at all levels. On a personal level, I regularly share snippets of my story as a suicide survivor on social media. I reflect on how if my attempt to end my life had been successful, the countless people who have come (and gone) from my life would not have been impacted by my light. I share my story to let others know they are not alone and to emphasize that their voice and story matter, if and when they are ready to share it.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
For the past 8 years, I have been an avid volunteer in various roles. I’ve taken on multiple responsibilities in my sons’ Cub Scout pack and have volunteered with the USO. Additionally, I have been a Key Spouse (now Key Support Liaison) Mentor for three squadrons. I was Director of Public Relations for Joint Spouses’ Conference Hawaii and have served on spouses’ club boards in a variety of roles, ranging from Membership Coordinator to President. I’ve helped plan numerous social events, community outreach programs, and philanthropic endeavors that directly impact our military and surrounding communities. These included monthly socials, mini clubs, donation drives (cookies for dorm residents, clothing, school supplies, and canned goods), volunteer opportunities (Airman’s Attic, ASYMCA, and dorm dinners), and charitable donations/scholarships. With the support of the spouses’ club, I planned and hosted a Purple Up Party for over 100 children at Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam.

Describe how you support your community:
I give what I can: my time. I actively volunteer and work in roles that allow me to support everyone from squadron families to military spouses worldwide. I have the privilege of growing alongside spouses’ club board members as we plan social and charitable activities. In my roles with Military Spouse Advocacy Network (MSAN), I support spouses, provide resources, help build a safe and open community, and empower leaders. As a Key Support Liaison Mentor, I support our squadron families by building rapport, sharing resources, and fostering a supportive community. Working with the USO, I have planned and hosted monthly kids’ events, kept the center clean and welcoming, and assisted with various events. Additionally, I volunteer with my boys’ schools. On a personal level, I strive to be friendly to everyone, offer support, and share my story.

What do you advocate for? Why?
I advocate for community and support. In 2008, I attempted to end my life because I felt completely alone in this world. To those that I mattered to, I felt they’d be better off without me. I felt I didn’t play that big of a role in their lives and it wouldn’t make much difference if I was gone. It is because of the support of my community that I saw the impact of my light and I’ve been pushed to do and be better. It has been my community who have been my personal cheerleaders when I’m feeling less than during my low moments. They have helped me to see my worth. It has also been my community that has pushed me out of my comfort zone and nudged me toward becoming the person I’m meant to be. I’m not fully there yet—I’m still learning and growing every day. But that’s the point—we’re never truly done learning and growing. At the end of the day, we all want to feel that what we do matters, and having that supportive community is invaluable during times when we might feel less than.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
I spread the message of community and support through interactions with others and through my actions. Over the past few years, I have been a part of several different organizations because they have provided a supportive community. They have been the thing a person may need to feel less alone. My involvement in these organizations reflects my commitment to leading by example. I have experienced firsthand the importance of feeling connected, and I actively encourage others to get involved. Additionally, through my daily interactions I try to live by the mantra of “if you’re not having fun, you’re not truly living”. I strive to build others up and am not afraid to be a bit silly at times to bring some fun and lightheartedness to others. Not everything in life is joyful though, so on the flip side of the coin, I’m vulnerable and open about my struggles, embracing a balance between lightheartedness and authenticity.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
I hope to be a beacon of light to others on a larger scale. Everything we do, no matter how big or small, creates ripples in this world. Our unique and individual lights shine into corners we don’t even realize. Too often we feel like imposters; we feel less than; we feel like we have to “fake it, ‘til we make it”; we compare our stories and successes to that of others. Each of us have faced different situations and have unique and important stories. Every one of our stories matters, no matter how small we may feel or how much we may feel like an imposter. When we have a community that supports everyone and their story as something one of a kind, we can all grow into better versions of ourselves, pushing the boundaries of making ripples across the world to create positive change. None of us are faking it; we all have the potential to be great. If chosen, I hope to bring out the potential in others, just as others have done for me, and to celebrate each of our unique stories.