Marisa Love

Share your military spouse story:
I am an Army spouse of 14 years, but I do not think that this phrase captures my story. I met my husband, who was then part of the National Guard when we were both working as First Responders in the same town. He was new on the job as a firefighter and I was volunteering for the town’s EMS system. I almost walked out of our first date, but am so glad that I decided to stay. I should have realized when he was deployed on state active duty and training for five out of the first eight weeks that we dated that this was a foreshadowing of things to come. My journey in this military life and to a greater extent our family’s journey is not a traditional one, but something that I wouldn’t trade for anything. It has shaped me into the person that I am today. My husband showed up three days before our wedding due to pre-deployment training and left four weeks after it. By the time he came home, we had been married 14 months and he had been away for 12 of them. Changes are the only constant in our lives and after 21 years with the National Guard my husband made the switch to the Reserves. I have learned to “Hurry Up and Wait” and treasure all of life’s little moments. Family life revolves around my son and his many activities. His story took me on a journey of advocacy and finding my voice even when no one would listen. I have learned to trust my gut and become resourceful in order to ensure that my son’s special needs are met. I am resilient, adaptable, dedicated, independent, and supportive. As a school based pediatric occupational therapist these are the same skills that I rely on. People are always trying to “Know their Value” and in this day and age that becomes more defined by what you have, whether it is salary, career advancement or peer adulation. My value has always been defined not by what I take, but by what I give, whether it is to my military or civilian community or where the two intersect.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
I have always found myself sharing resources for the community through my mentorship in the MSAN HUB and social media. When I was researching avenues to support my dissertation, I came across the Military Spouse Advocacy Network. Here was an organization that was dedicated to supporting military spouses throughout their journey and creating a network of support. I made the conscious choice to apply to become a military spouse mentor. Through my time as a mentor, I have found a community that has allowed me to use my knowledge of resources to support other military spouses and families. Leadership can be shown in so many ways. One of the challenges I have faced is the isolation of being a reserve military spouse in a civilian community. Through my mentorship time, I have found a voice to assist others not only within the Reserve Community, but also the National Guard and Active Duty communities. My fellow mentors have nicknamed me the “Resource Guru”.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
For the last 18 years I have been a part of the ski patrol at West Point. My husband first introduced me to the patrol and over the years, I have taken on the role of Instructor of Record of the Outdoor Emergency Care portion of the training. This requires me to train groups of cadets on the medical knowledge to become patrollers and hopefully save someone’s life. No small feat and one that I have thoroughly enjoyed. I have watched these cadets put the skills learned to use day in and day out as they watch over their fellow cadets ensuring that if an emergency happens, that they have the training to ensure the best outcome. I have also been fortunate enough as part of my volunteer work with the Adaptive Sports Foundation to be a part of programs run by the WWP and Warriors in Motion. Together with military service members and their families, I have taught them how to enjoy outdoor sports and recreation regardless of their limitations and know anything is possible.

Describe how you support your community:
Service is in my nature and always has been. In addition to being a member of the West Point Ski Patrol, I joined the Windham Safety Team, where I continue to put my EMT and athletic training skills to use serving the community. In 2006, I took a leap into the unknown and joined the medical team of the Boston Athletic Association, where I continue to serve on the team for the Boston Marathon. I can be found at the finish line tending to racers as they cross the line. In 2013, these skills were put to the test in supporting the community in Boston. My community is a mosaic and I advocate for all within my community. This means not only the military community, but also those looking to support their children in the public schools, military spouses finding their way, new therapists in the schools and anyone else who reaches out for guidance. I have been termed the “Resource Guru” by some of my fellow military spouse mentors and I am honored to wear this hat.

What do you advocate for? Why?
My passion extends to advocating for our littlest warriors, military children like my son, and specifically those whose parents are serving in the National Guard or Reserves. In 2019 I returned to school to earn my doctorate. My dissertation was on how occupational therapists can support military kids in public schools, especially those not identified by the national identifier. The biggest challenge facing them is the fact that as Reserve and National Guard children schools oftentimes do not know they are there. How can you support them if you do not know they are in your community? Advocating for this change is only the beginning. The biggest challenge facing these children and their families is not having the access to an installation and the supports that they provide. I often hear families state that there are no resources for reserve families, but the real disservice is families not being aware of the resources and because services go underutilized they are discontinued.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
Timing is everything and I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with a Connecticut State Representative about expanding the national identifier on public school forms to identify all military connected children and not only the active duty ones. Based on this conversation and my knowledge a bill was proposed within the CT General Assembly to expand the military identifier. Unfortunately COVID caused a shortened legislative session and the bill did not make it to the entire assembly, however the desire to pursue this has not diminished. My son constantly reminds me and all of his teachers that Kids Serve Too. These little warriors should not be forgotten. At a personal level, I have worked with my son’s teachers educating them about the unique needs that military kids face and the stressors that impact their everyday lives. The more people that understand the challenges they face, the bigger the supportive community becomes. A single thought can have a wide reaching effect.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
Advocating for and raising awareness about the need for support for Reserve and National Guard families who are stationed far from installations is my passion. These families tend to be invisible in their communities and resources are not geared to support the unique challenges that they face. While these families do not move, they are faced with a community that does not understand the sacrifices that are being made on a daily basis. If families are unaware of the resources or even where to look for them, how can they utilize them? With the support of the AFI Military Spouse of the Year title, I hope to raise awareness and increase the identification of these families within their communities and connect them with the resources that are available. People say that it takes a village to raise a child, but it is equally as important to have members of the village understand the challenges the children face to provide the support they need to thrive and grow.