Jessica Gutierrez

Share your military spouse story:
I married my high school sweetheart, young and naïve we thought we knew it all. He would request orders to get stationed in Hawaii because he was told he could pick his duty station and we would live happily ever after. Right?! I chuckle a little as I type this. I am an Elementary education graduate. I graduated many years after high school as a mother of 2 when at times I couldn’t see that light at the end of the tunnel. It was very challenging time in my life. I would be lying to you if I said marriage has been easy. On the contrary it came with many obstacles, and many sacrifices that those not living it have difficulties understanding. Our marriage has endured many things some our peers might not view as normal. I can only speak for our marriage, but we have mastered the writing of letters in bootcamp, sending care packages with precious energy drinks, deployments, many skype dates, 5 Pcs moves 2 of which were overseas, even the absence of my husband with our firstborn. We are not the first nor the last to go through this, however this is our “normal” not ideal but not unheard of. In fact, I have grown to be so accustomed to this life that I assumed “anyone” could be married to a marine. I have seen more divorces and separations that I would like to admit. Early in my marriage I was given advice by one of my husband’s Sergeants that over the years I have passed along to many couples. “Fight for your marriage until you have no more fight left to give.” Being married has come with many sacrifices, displaying resiliency, much flexibility and willingness to follow him everywhere has been challenging at times. Even having to put my career on hold so our children can always have one parent at all times. Our story has truly been a blessing and a wonderful adventure. Seeing our children adapt and thrive in this environment makes me a proud mama. We strive to always be very transparent with our children about change coming in our lives and always give them a voice.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
I constantly strive to expand and share my knowledge and my leadership experiences in whichever ways are helpful to the military community. I was a part of two amazing movements during our time in California. I participated as committee member for the Two-Way Bilingual Immersion TWBI program, we created the master plan that outlined the dual language program at the k-8 level at that time, a new program to the district. I also served as a community member on the panel for the hiring of superintendent in the Oceanside unified school district. Being able to give our military community a voice in the district was very important to me. Most of the children in the program were those of military service members. Being involved in the TWBI was also very fulfilling in my opinion, I have always been extremely proud of where I come from. Being Mexican American and speaking Spanish has has always given me a sense of pride and belonging and I wanted my children to see that and feel the same way.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
I have served and supported in the military community by volunteering my time. Have always gravitated to helping in things that involve our military children which should come as no surprise given my background in education. I have worn many hats, starting in 2006 with faith formation youth service leader, to PTO’S, school district committees, volunteering my time for children’s museum, daycare for date nights, meal trains, coaching youth sports, leader positions for BSA both on the troop and cub scout level, fields trips and school dances, assisting as committee member for Molly Pitcher in the Artillery community. Helping husband with sponsoring families to facilitate their move overseas and help make as smooth as possible. Cooking traditional Mexican meals for marines on holidays that’s a big one here while overseas it’s not just a weekend trip. I wish I had more time to be able to do more. My husband is constantly reminding me to slow down, he has for 20 years with no luck.

Describe how you support your community:
More, recently I been helping our DRC involving myself in unit functions, holiday parties, kids ball, baking for young marines and spouse socials. One regret I do have is not getting involved with spouses’ groups sooner in my husband’s career. I am very thankful to my husband’s DRC for opening that door. Being active in my community is very important to me, whether it’s playing in a military spouses kickball league, attending socials, marriage retreats, FOCUS sessions or a LINKS course. I have learned to always take the best things from all our duty stations and never let one negative thing impact how we would spend the rest of our time at a duty station. It's all what you make of it. Unfortunately living overseas means that community support is vital, as we do not have easy access to our social support systems many including myself have felt alone. I have always found a network of support from attending events, socials, or volunteering. I highly encourage others to do the same.

What do you advocate for? Why?
I advocate for the future, what I mean by that is our children. Some of them will soon lead by example after seeing their mom and dad’s sacrifice to keep a family strong throughout all the adversity, challenges and changes they sometimes weren’t too content with. No surprise, the military child is compared to a dandelion. Dandelions can take root and flourish practically anywhere the wind blows them. Watching military children adapt and thrive in this environment makes for some proud parents. To know they can withstand constant change in their lives and still thrive is reassuring. As a parent I want their needs, wants, emotions, and frustrations to be heard. I have encountered many single parents with children and are struggling to find their village. I advocate for them to know how exclusive they are. I want our military children to feel accepted, loved, cared for even if mom and or dad haven't been around much. This is not by choice. Military children are truly resilient.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
We live in a world where social media is a must people are always posting. I find myself on Face groups, local base pages, spouses pages to let people know about upcoming events, deadlines and it has even served as a recruiting tool for my sons cub scouts. I find myself spreading my message through daily interactions with community members and spread the word to anyone that is willing to listen. It really makes me sad to hear people not like their current duty station. I always make it a goal to maybe shift their opinion a little if they simply just had a bad interaction with someone or maybe tried a not so good restaurant. Getting the word out about events helps people find their community and ultimately their village they will continue to have for the remaining of their duty station and hopefully beyond. This can even help start to build one at their future duty station.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
Just to be nominated for this title really gives me so much gratitude to my community. If I were to become Military Spouse of the Year, I would continue to advocate for the military children and families. I am hoping that my actions speak louder than words and I can inspire more parents to volunteer and advocate for our military children. It is hard to give up our time and it is hard to find that balance. Time is precious, we don’t get it back, but I promise you the satisfaction of seeing those faces when you are making a difference is totally worth it.