Jairian Loveall

Share your military spouse story:
I often hear, “You knew what you signed up for.” When, In reality, nothing can prepare you for the challenges and even blessings that being a military spouse gives you. I understood that my marriage would be challenging. I’ve spent many nights going to bed alone, experienced major milestones and events without my partner by my side and most of all, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that one day, my husband may not come home. It started with, “I hope the Rams beat the 49ers.” Two years later, at the top of the Griffith Observatory, he got down on one knee and I said, “yes”. I had a successful career, my family, friends, and my Marine. However, My life and the military were separate entities. Until, my husband called and said, I got new orders. I shifted gears and made the decision to put my career on hold and follow my husband to Parris Island. I felt lost, alone, and unsure. It was my first time on the East coast and I had no friends or family in sight. I was pushed out of my comfort zone and decided to take plunge into everything that being a military spouse had to offer. I joined a spouse's kickball league, volunteered for my husband’s battalion, volunteered for the Parris Island Spouses Club, and even became a mentor on base. Through these opportunities and many like it, I found my people.They were the people who would comfort me when I was homesick, bring me food when I was stuck in bed, or sit for hours on my porch with me talking for hours about absolutely nothing. So, although I “knew what I was getting myself into,” I could not have predicted that I would be tested in so many ways. It’s given me so many opportunities to better myself, it tested my marriage and made it stronger, and it's brought me to the best people I’ve ever met. Although, at this moment we are unsure of where our journey will take us next, I'm grateful for the journey I've been on so far.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
Coming to Parris Island was difficult and very lonely and I never want anyone else to feel that way. It has been my goal to ensure that military spouses not only survive, but are given the tools to grow and thrive. I began my leadership in this particular community through the Spouses Beaufort Area Kickball Association. I’m currently in my fourth year as a head coach and continue to perpetuate the pillars that our league is based on; Charity, camaraderie, and competition. I also serve as an assistant in our battalion’s Family Readiness Program as well as a L.I.N.K.S. Mentor With the Parris Island Spouses Club (PISC) I created and proposed a position for myself within the board as their communications chair. I rebranded the organization and helped to create a structure that allows growth while creating systems and processes to make the club efficient, effective, and flexible to allow for the ever-changing lifestyle of the military. I am also the head of the Book Club for PISC.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
Home isn’t just a place. It can be a person or a feeling. Being part of the military community sometimes means being far away from home and feelings of loneliness. It was those feelings that inspired me to begin cooking food for the barracks marines that my husband works with. It started as just dinners at our house once a week. It then quickly evolved into movie nights, game nights, holidays, and even their referring to our house as their second home and to us as family. I constantly host events at my home, especially for the holidays, and keep an open-door policy. I post throughout our neighborhood pages and invite anyone who would like to join. Whether that be a movie night on the lawn, a screening of the Superbowl, or even just a dinner and a bonfire. It is this sense of home and family that pushes me to be inclusive in all that I do and drives me to participate in events and organizations throughout my community.

Describe how you support your community:
I know the feeling of what it is like to be left out, left behind, or forgotten. This is why I push for inclusivity and community. It's terrifying and slightly intimidating coming to a new place and as a LINKS mentor and a FRA, I'm in a unique position to not just implement ways to encourage participation from spouses, but to also come up with ideas to help spouses feel more welcome. With a large number of newcomers, we decided to plan and execute what we called Jingle and Mingle. Neighbors would stop by each house for a holiday treat while looking at holiday decorations. In the end, we all met in front of my home for Christmas movies and a potluck. My goal as a military spouse is to help create an environment and an outlet for other spouses to feel just a little less lost and alone. However, I also want others to know that they are not alone and they have a community around them.

What do you advocate for? Why?
Whether a spouse or a service member, I believe that we are one community, one family. What affects one of us, affects us all. The number 22 is well-known in the military community. If you do not know, it is the statistic for the number of veteran suicides a day. We must ensure that our family is taken care of. That they never feel alone or lost and they know that there’s always someone to turn to. At the end of the day, that veteran may have a spouse, a family, and friends who also feel that hurt and that loss. My husband has lost many friends to suicide. Those friends were the husbands of my friends, the barracks marine who came by a few times for a family dinner, or the friend he knew from his time in the fleet. Out there, a wife is missing her husband, a child is missing their father and a person is missing their friend. This affects everyone in our community. It is my goal, with the help of my husband, to support these veterans both near and far.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
Community is brought together by more than just a shared meal or a meet-up in person. Sometimes, communities are built online and through online gaming. My husband and I are avid gamers and it is through gaming that we built a platform on which we can support others. I attended and graduated from the University of La Verne with a B.A. in Communications with an Emphasis in Multimedia Design. This means that I have a wide breadth of knowledge and experience when it comes to marketing, design, PR - event planning, film production, and radio. These skills are what allow me to support him through charity events and to continue growing his platform. Although he, as the service member, is the face of this platform, it is my job to create content as well as utilize my knowledge of social media to promote and share charity events we participate in. After the military, we hope to create a safe space for veterans to come and not feel so alone.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
It is my hope that I will be able to inspire others to be more inclusive and welcoming to those around them. I wish to bring people together and build communities to support each other through all stages of the military. It is those communities and those relationships that will guide you through the challenges of military life but also celebrate with you through the victories. I hope that through this sense of home and community, we can create a safe space for service members and spouses. Perception can start with just one person. If we can change people's perspectives and make the military community less intimidating, we can ensure that we not only survive this challenging lifestyle but that we thrive.