Alyssa Cunningham

Share your military spouse story:
Konnichiwa! I am Alyssa, wife to Matthew, mother to Elijah, Roman, and Maddison. My military spouse story starts nearly fifteen years ago at a New Years Eve get together. I was seventeen when I met my husband that night. He was home on leave from MOS school in Virginia and was preparing to leave for Hawaii. I was not interested in being a military girlfriend but little did I know how quickly we would fall in love. My husband left for Afghanistan a few months later and we exchanged old fashioned, handwritten letters for seven long months. He proposed a year later and we were married in October of 2010. He deployed back to Afghanistan a few weeks later followed by a UDP to Japan. We survived recruiting duty, where my first son was born, by the grace of God. From there, we transferred to North Carolina where we welcomed our second son and two more deployments. At this point, I was ready to have a permanent home and be done with the Marine Corps….God had other plans. We were sent to Okinawa despite the tears I cried and the fear of being so far from home. We welcomed our third baby, this time a girl. This tiny island, during COVID, has broken me in ways I never thought possible. It has also healed me and strengthened me to who I am today. I found who I am, not simply as a military spouse, but as a woman, as a wife, as a mother. Okinawa has nestled itself directly into my heart and soul. There will never be a home like this one. Throughout the years, I’ve learned how to love my husband through the deepest of valleys and the highest of mountains. We’ve battled everything thrown at us, from a scary third labor and delivery, COVID, PTSD, job and career changes, completing undergrad, and facing every challenge head on. Together, we have conquered through more trials over the past fifteen years than I ever imagined. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
My first introduction to leadership was in Hawaii. I volunteered with the FRO through my husbands unit, assisting with various base events and morale events within the unit. From there, I volunteered with the FRO in North Carolina, cooking dinners and breakfasts for the pilots who worked late nights and early mornings. I also volunteered with CREDO retreats and trainings. I truly found my calling in Okinawa, where I have served with our military chapel for over four years. Here I’ve led Bible studies, participated in suicide intervention trainings, promoting base wide events to boost the morale of the military community, led and hosted Vacation Bible School, among other various religious and non-religious events. I have also been blessed to volunteer with the CREDO program here, helping to coordinate and execute various retreats and programs serving our Marine Corps and Navy families across the island.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
I currently work alongside our US Navy Chaplains in Okinawa, Japan. I am the Protestant Coordinator of Religious Education at the Camp Courtney Chapel. I plan, prepare, and execute events for our Chapel community and our base wide community. Each year, I host various events such as Easter Egg Hunts, Memorial Day Cookouts, Vacation Bible School, Trunk or Treat, and Thanksgiving Outreach Programs. I also volunteer with the Women’s Ministry program, assisting with retreat coordination, outreach events, and cultivating a community that is a safe place for every woman. Each of my programs are created to encourage military spouses, service members, and their families to find their village and thrive at a duty station thousands of miles from home.

Describe how you support your community:
Community building is one of the hardest aspects of living overseas. COVID limited abilities to truly engage in relationships and foster friendships that are the heart of overseas living. I strive to communicate with spouses and families about needs that are being unmet in the community. I may not be able to solve problems myself, however, I often know of someone who has an answer. Okinawa has a large homeschooling community across the island. As a homeschooling family, I often see the need for larger groups and increased opportunities for learning. I volunteer within our homeschool co-op and have been working to support these needs through bigger facilities. My hope is to create a space to serve all homeschooling families, regardless of faith or personal beliefs, in supporting advanced learning opportunities for the next generation.

What do you advocate for? Why?
Depression and suicide rates have increased significantly since the pandemic. The resources provided on the island are unable to accommodate the growing needs of the community where spouses and dependents typically wait months to receive mental health care. I advocate for mental health services that are accessible and available to all spouses and dependents regardless of their branch of service. I often encourage others to seek out counseling services beyond military treatment facilities. Many spouses are unaware of the non-religious counseling services US Navy Chaplains provide. I encourage them to seek out their unit chaplains or to even seek out a trusted friend, coworker, or neighbor.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
I am not actively engaged on social media or television on military spouse issues. I believe media isn’t always the right path to find answers to a problem. I believe one-on-one engagement is the best way to discuss military spouse issues, as well as issues surrounding depression and suicide. Some topics are easily discussed on a public forum, however, deeply personal topics are best discussed privately due to their sensitive nature. I’ve spoken publicly on depression and suicide, bringing awareness to the issues facing military spouses and families with the intent to remind spouses that safe spaces do exist where one can freely communicate. I am passionate on being open about any issues and actively encourage personal discussions to cultivate a community where all spouses - regardless of rank, gender, sexuality, etc. - can feel safe and welcomed to be honest with their struggles.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
I pray that I can encourage others that anything is possible. The past does not define you, it shapes you. Who you are today, is not who you will be tomorrow. You are constantly growing, changing, transforming into a better person.