Affton Gilchrist

Share your military spouse story:
My husband and I began dating our senior year in high school in 2003, just a few days after he joined the Delayed Entry Program for the Marine Corps. When we graduated from high school, he packed a Ziplock bag and headed for Parris Island and I packed my Honda Accord and headed for college. We continued to write letters and plan our future together during his time in recruit training and his training at the School of Infantry. Upon his graduation from SOI, we learned quickly that we didn't want to be apart from each other and I withdrew from college, married my 18-year-old boyfriend and moved to Jacksonville, NC. We knew that he would be deploying to Iraq in a few short months, and we wanted to spend every moment we could together. That 7-month combat deployment taught my 19-year-old self more than I could ever imagine. While I worked nonstop and took college classes, my every day was filled with fear of having a Marine in Dress Blues knock on my door to tell me I had lost my husband. Over the 19 years that we have been married, I have never forgotten that feeling. It is one that I carry with me every time I hear the word "deployment" and it still sends a pit into my stomach. We have learned to persevere through all that life (and the Marine Corps) has thrown at us. After many years of trying, we gave birth to a son (who was born on his first deployment to Afghanistan) and a daughter (who was born a month after he returned from his second deployment to Afghanistan). We have gone through 2 additional combat deployments, as well as two other deployments with Marine Expeditionary Units, and we will embark on our 6th deployment this spring. As of December 2020, I finally completed my bachelor's degree in communications that I started back in 2004 and have never been so proud of my accomplishments. This life has been a rollercoaster, but it has been the most rewarding journey I have ever been on and I am forever grateful for every experience I have had.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
During my journey as a military spouse, I have been blessed with multiple opportunities to step into leadership roles within our community. The most impactful leadership experience that I have had was working with our church, Saddleback Church Rancho Capistrano for our Military Ministry. I was approached about starting a ministry and it took off quickly. We partnered with an infantry unit and began providing support to the families during their workups for deployment. There was a training accident where several Marines were severely injured and for a week, I organized, collected, and distributed meals to these Marines' families while they were with their loved ones in the hospitals. We also hosted a large Christmas party for them where we collected over 200 pairs of pajamas for the children and had over 75 volunteers that were there to host the military families to make their holidays a little brighter during deployment.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
During my husband's first deployment, I quickly realized that I wanted to be involved in the Family Readiness Program. I became a Key Volunteer in 2005 and immersed myself in helping military spouses and providing support to them. I stayed engaged with the Family Readiness Program for the next six years by filling various roles and helping the Family Readiness Officer in whatever way they needed. In 2012, I became a Family Readiness Assistant and worked heavily with the FRO in our new unit. In 2016, I became the leader of the Military Ministry of Saddleback Church Rancho Capistrano and connected with a local unit where we were able to support them during a major training accident as well as their 7-month deployment. I have filled multiple roles within the Family Readiness Programs throughout our 19 years in the Marine Corps, but my most recent and rewarding endeavor has been serving as the Deployment Readiness Coordinator of an infantry unit.

Describe how you support your community:
Over the course of the last five years, my husband and I have hosted a Bible study (LifeGroups) in our homes for multiple military members and their families. This is something we share a passion for and is a high priority for both of us. We have connected with multiple charities through these groups and have been able to give back to our community not only as couples, but we also get our children involved. I also am the Communications Chair for the Camp Lejeune Leadership Seminar which provides leadership education to military spouses and encourages servant leadership through our bi-annual seminars.

What do you advocate for? Why?
Being a military spouse can be incredibly challenging to maintain your own identity. We find ourselves supporting our spouses' careers and creating a life for our children, but we often lose ourselves in this process. It is at the top of my priority list to help military spouses stay connected to their dreams and goals. Whether that be higher education, continued education, learning to step into a leadership role, or entering back into the work force, it is crucial that we maintain aspirations for ourselves personally to grow and thrive in our lives.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
While my bachelor's degree is in communications and I primarily focus on the use of technology to spread information, I believe that the human connection in our community is paramount. But I do frequently couple the two and often use social media and technology to reach spouses that we may not always have the chance to reach. The frequent spreading of information on social media and connecting with spouses virtually makes that human connection a little less scary to spouses who may be more introverted.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
I will be the first to admit that I never saw myself as long-term military spouse. When I started on this journey, I never expected to care about this community as much as I do. But 19 years later, I am absolutely invested in leaving things better than I found them. Over the course of my time as a military spouse, we have seen the evolution of resources available to service members and their families. The unfortunate part of this is that so many families are not connected to those resources and miss the opportunity to capitalize on their benefits. I would love nothing more than to make these connections and raise awareness to military family members that whatever they are experiencing, there is some sort of resource to help you and you are never alone!