Jayla Rae Ardelean

Share your military spouse story:
Hey there, I go by Jayla Rae! I’m what I call a Late Career Milspouse, meaning I met my husband late in his career, and later in my own. By the time I showed up, my husband had already served 10 years on an officer track, and I had a master’s degree in a field I would never actually enter (due to an impending PCS). This introduction to military life feels different because there’s such a huge community of people who have gone through the ranks alongside their service members. It took me quite a few years to experience cornerstones of this lifestyle–namely deployment and promotion–while acclimatizing to the lingo, alternating between overseas and stateside living, becoming a stepparent, and gripping tightly to some semblance of a career of my own. In short: the learning curve was gigantic. And to put it bluntly: I never saw meeting someone in the military as an option or joining this lifestyle as a remote possibility. I guess internet dating had other plans. And now for the official bio: I am a Milspouse Mentor, writer, speaker, and host of The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast. My work focuses on supporting the milspouse with former dreams to re-spark their inner purpose, using empowered action and personal growth tools, including but not limited to the Enneagram as a certified coach. (The Enneagram is a personality framework with 9 types that maps our potential.) I love my two obnoxious dachshunds (and anyone else’s), well-executed coffee, long-winded podcasts, and all things winter. I was born in San Diego, California, raised in West Valley City, Utah, and have since lived in 4 other states and 2 countries, as well as traveled to over 30 countries. With a master’s in creative nonfiction from Colorado State University, a bachelor’s background in environmental studies, and a deep desire to be a lifelong learner—don’t be surprised if I one day add a second master’s or PhD to the mix.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
My best example of leadership can be found in my experience as a speaker, though I also lead in my career, in my own business, and household. Whether at virtual events, through my podcast, or on social media—I demonstrate leadership toward the military community by encouraging them to build greater self-awareness, and to make personal development a priority. I share what it’s like to embody this priority in all the messy and uplifting ways in myself. I root my speaking engagements in teaching more about the personality framework of the Enneagram, because when a–for example–milspouse entrepreneur learns how to make more intentional decisions in their business through the lens of their personality, they then realize just how much of their approach to business and PCSing, deployment, frequent changes to plans, etc. are dictated by their personality. In my coaching, I work to improve their approach to create more impact, revenue, and understanding in relationships.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
As a current member and former coach for the Association of Military Spouse Entrepreneurs (AMSE), I’ve supported this subset of our community to my fullest, by teaching about the Enneagram, coaching milspouse entrepreneurs, networking, and connecting spouses to the proper resources. Though I’ve never felt plugged into base communities, I’ve done my best to support my communities while OCONUS, whether by writing newsletters about local cultural events, volunteering with Community Liaison Offices inside embassies, or in the near future—conducting Enneagram workshops to help foster deeper self-awareness and fulfillment for milspouses. I also attend spouse club socials whenever possible.

Describe how you support your community:
I believe there is power in naming struggle. That is why I conduct conversations on The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast. I provide opportunities for spouses to dive into their emotional landscapes. We discuss the hardships in ways that make spouses feel seen and validated, so they can continue advocating for our community. In my nearly 8 years as a spouse, I’ve also found that Late Career Milspouses don’t fit the messaging and resources for brand new military spouses OR seasoned spouses. This is often because we’re older, have a lot of life experience, may have advanced degrees, and might be more liberal than other spouses we encounter. So where do we go? Who do we become? How do we balance a strong, independent, and defined identity in pre-military life, with the reality of how much we will sacrifice in order to be with this great big love who walked into our lives? These are the questions I’ve been facing in community with fellow milspouses.

What do you advocate for? Why?
I advocate for transparency, emotional honesty, and self-awareness. It’s through these pillars I’ve seen our community strengthen, and thereby engage in vulnerability and the challenges of this lifestyle more willingly. One of my personal values is inclusivity, and I attempt it by highlighting marginalized voices on my podcast. I advocate for others to be as inclusive as possible because the military world is still dominated by a cisgender, heterosexual, white perspective, yet there is a diverse range of perspectives that need a bigger microphone. While entrepreneurship is just one piece of the puzzle when it comes to potential solutions for high milspouse unemployment rates, I believe in advocating for milspousepreneurs by showing them how to run businesses while balancing the demands of the military, through the lens of their personality type. The more employment we bring to this historically underemployed subset of the military community, the more empowered we become overall.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
I’ve created a platform for Late Career Milspouses from scratch on my own podcast, and engaged myself as a guest in the military life podcast circuit, including but not limited to the award-winning Holding Down the Fort Podcast, Married to Military Podcast, and Call to Marriage Podcast. It’s in these interviews where I advocate for personal development for all military spouses, and highlight the unique experience of a Late Career Milspouse. I’ve also been published in the Military Spouse Entrepreneur Guide (sponsored by Stars and Stripes) twice, and on the Association of Military Spouse Entrepreneur (AMSE) blog. As a speaker, I’m routinely looking for opportunities to join forces with summit or live event hosts, and spoke at 6 events in 2022. I will continue to share my platform, spread a positive message, and provide much-needed encouragement for milspouses that their feelings and struggles are valid.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
It would truly be an honor to accept this title, especially because I’ve never felt like a military spouse who fits the mold in our community! With the title, I’d love to secure a sponsorship for The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast, and get it into the hands of spouses who need more support and resources, but are unsure of where to turn. Because the podcast is an honest examination of military life challenges, includes ideas for how to incorporate tools for personal growth into daily life (such as using the Enneagram), and a space to feel more connected to who you are, its powerful message could create ripples with the right growth strategy. This is probably unsurprising to hear, but I’d love to speak at more military-affiliated events that align with my message of personal development! Creating a speaking circuit with the AFI title would get the Enneagram in the hands of more spouses who desire a positive impact on their family, in their business, and in their community.