Manda Lynn McVey

Share your military spouse story:
As an Army spouse of almost 4 years, and having lived as a bit of a nomad prior to that, I am well- seasoned at finding the best Mexican restaurant within a five-mile radius of any new home, locating a health professional in a few minutes, making a house into home, as well as searching out local resources on often nonsensical websites. Starting a romance with a man I met in middle school when we were both 12-years-old who was now a soldier stationed in Korea while I was living in Colorado did not seem like the ideal situation. Try as we might, we couldn't avoid it and next thing we knew we were in love. I lived the life of a recruiter's wife which can almost lead one to forget they are married to a soldier. While not unaware of the challenges that "regular" military life can bring, I was able to sleep next to my soldier every night. Upon arriving at Joint-Base Lewis McChord, I was expediently served a hearty helping of "regular" Army. My husband's unit assignment was updated three times while we were in transit from KY to WA. Once we got here, he reported for duty and was told he was going overseas in less than 60 days. I was shocked and terrified. I had no friends or family here. Then, true to form, I broke my foot the week prior to his departure and our four-year-old daughter got pneumonia the week after. Three weeks later we both had influenza and he wouldn't be home for five more months. I had no idea how to handle these things on my own. What I did know was that I was not alone. For months prior to our Permanent Change of Station (PCS), I had been reaching out to spouse groups and organizations I was affiliated with that had local chapters. I also had yoga. Practicing several times a day, sometimes for just a couple of minutes, and making phone calls to women I had never met before helped me to find my ground, my voice, my tribe and taught me that being a military spouse doesn't mean you just have to survive but, rather, you can THRIVE.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
When I married my soldier, he was stationed as a recruiter in a location far from any military installations. I found myself lost and disconnected, struggling to find resources and overcome the hurdles associated with military life. While maneuvering through these struggles, it became apparent that there was no point of contact at our station to help navigate the rough waters. Not wanting other incoming spouses to face the same challenges, I approached the station commander at the first opportunity and volunteered for the position. Lacking a Facebook page, the Company entrusted me with building and maintaining one. Arriving at a similar situation when we first got to Washington, I willingly stepped up and took the reins because receiving information about a loved one's unit and local happenings is vital to being a successful spouse. Therefore, I freely chose, and continue to take on this volunteer position as I am in a place to do so while many others are not.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
In December, I organized a “cookie drop” in conjunction with the American Red Cross for delivery of cookies & cards of gratitude for the 700 soldiers in my husband’s battalion. On Christmas Day, my family delivered cookies and cards to soldiers manning the gates at Joint Base Lewis McChord as well as those on guard duty or 24-hour staff duty. I collaborate with Blue Star Families and Starbucks to host community events such as “Yellow Ribbon Trees” to honor service members far from home as well as the Kindness Rocks Project coming in February. Every year, at Tahoma National Cemetery, I work with Armor Down as an Honor Ambassador to host Mindful Memorial Day (a living memorial originating at Arlington National Cemetery which is now heading into its seventh consecutive year and is observed with the hanging of yellow ribbons and fallen warrior cards) as well as delivering “mindfulness and gratitude cushions” to families and service members affected by the loss of a service member.

Describe how you support your community:
While most of my training has to do with health and wellness, I am also a Soldier & Family Readiness Group leader, have trained in yoga (to include trauma-informed yoga), meditation, and general self-care practices in order to build individual resiliency. Passionate about encouraging other spouses to also build resiliency, I promote volunteer opportunities helping to embolden spouses to get out into the community and, by doing so, inadvertently become stronger and braver with every step while also broadening their support network as well as bridging the gap between military and civilian communities. During a mission earlier this year, I helped several spouses who were struggling to navigate the trials of separation to seek the help they needed including connecting them with Chaplains and Behavioral Health specialists as well as providing the names of programs around Joint Base Lewis McChord for helping families cope such as FOCUS and New Parent Support Group.

What do you advocate for? Why?
I believe in advocating for military spouses and caregivers to find their strength and purpose by seeking out and harnessing wellness and resilience opportunities whenever possible. As the niece of a wounded warrior and the sister-in-law of a retired Marine who suffers from post-traumatic stress, I witnessed firsthand the seemingly insurmountable struggles and obstacles that a military spouse can be handed even before becoming an Army wife. Having been taught by my mentor, Chef Glenn Humphrey, that "struggles & obstacles" should be viewed as "challenges & opportunities", I try to seek out the lesson in most situations. Studying to be a yoga and iRest Yoga Nidra instructor and wellness coach, as well as my knack for resourcefulness, has helped me design a more resilient life empowering me with the courage and wherewithal to face military spouse life head-on with a smile... at least most of the time.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
As soon as I became an Army wife, I joined the American Legion Post 9 Auxiliary. Soon, I was voted into the position of Auxiliary Vice President for my efforts recruiting spouses and encouraging participation in community and volunteer opportunities. Organizations such as this also present opportunities for spouses from all branches and stages of their service members' careers to connect and take down the walls that sometimes present between branches. I donate time and services to spouses and service members to educate them in caring for themselves mind, body, and spirit in hopes they will break free from the cycle of attempting to pour from an empty cup. Volunteerism and knowledge of whole-body wellness & resiliency techniques have earned me the opportunity to speak at a Northwest Military Wives fundraiser and on the Women Who Work Wonders panel at the 2nd annual Women.Wellness.Wisdom. conference at Joint Base Lewis McChord as well as on the podcast Searching for Satya.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
It is my desire to bring health, wellness, and resiliency to all military personnel, spouses, families, and veterans with a cost and manner that is accessible and attainable for everyone. As the wife of a United States Army soldier, the niece of a wounded warrior, and the sister-in-law of a Marine, I have witnessed first-hand the struggles that military and first-responders and their families face when it comes to getting and staying healthy and resilient. Our lives are full of stress, good and bad, that can seriously affect one's wellness, and therefore the ability to carry out day-to-day activities. Instructing individuals and groups in simple, achievable resiliency methods such as yoga, meditation, volunteering with a purpose, as well as general self-care and routine building enables them to care for one another, and most importantly, our nation. Balancing all of these things is quite the challenge, but my mission is one of hope and healing which must start close to home.