Amy Marsh

Share your military spouse story:
Being a military spouse has been the hardest, yet most rewarding, calling I have followed. Growing up in a civilian family, I had no idea that a Captain in the Air Force was completely different than a Captain in the Coast Guard. I grew up in poverty, but my parents always guided me to dedicate my life to that of service. When I was in college, I fell in love with an ROTC cadet who was also from a humble upbringing in Puerto Rico. Since day one in the service, our hearts have been poured out over multiple families at each of our three assignments thus far. We even decided to dedicate my career to helping our military members become financially stable, a lost skill for many our service members. Being a spouse is difficult, because I have witnessed some leaders making political choices to impact their own career, when my husband and I know that being a leader means making choices that might not always reflect positively on oneself, though it is best for his or her Airmen. A victim of sexual assault myself by an active duty member, my husband and I have learned what it means to make the right choice, even if it is the harder one and we have everything to lose. We have learned at a young age what it means to be a leader, both in choices of our own and learning from actions of others. Though life has thrown us some curveballs, God has given us hefty muscles to not only survive, but to thrive in character and a burning desire to help others heal through, or even avoid, our painful story. No, my husband has not been deployed yet, but the challenges we've gone through have greatly encouraged us to help entire families in their own pain and suffering. As cliché as it may sound, words will never describe how much love and compassion I have for military families. My heart bursts with joy and gratitude every time someone opens their heart to me, as I know how challenging it can be to find that trust. I thank God for where he has placed me, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Share an example of your leadership experience within the military community:
Though I would like to express the glamorous opportunities I've had, I will not. For me, my most defined opportunity to lead has been the hardest thing in my life. In 2018, I was sexually assaulted by an active duty member. As a result, I silently suffered for months, until I understood from someone I respected that it is my duty to the United States Air Force to step up. Knowing I had everything to lose, I spoke up. As a civilian, I get no compensation for the occurance, and I had to close my successful business and move to a different state. 2019 gave me strife, and I often wanted to quit, as I had clearly opted for the more difficult path by speaking up. However, leaders have wingmen to rely on when they are weak; in this case, he is my husband. After a year of fighting to be a voice for those who don't have one, I learned being a leader sometimes means that some will doubt you, others will hate you, yet most will be thankful you wiped your tears, stood up, and opened your mouth.

Describe your involvement in the military community:
In addition to my career as a full-time licensed financial advisor for our nation's military families, I am a woman of many hats. During our time at Travis AFB, I was a key spouse for my husband's Squadron, serving various spouses and children, as well as educating our Airmen about Key Spouses at the monthly "Right Starts". I served as the Treasurer for Travis Spouses' Club and the PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) as well. My husband and I have hosted multiple barbeques in our home, where all are welcome to break bread with us. Since our move to Davis-Monthan AFB, I was once again recruited to serve on the Executive Board for the Officers' Spouses' Club. On top of participating in spousal events, I am a proud member of Tucson Metro Chamber's Military Affairs Committee and Arizona's 162nd Air Guardians. Most recently, I have started with Hiring Our Heroes, a wonderful organization that got me started off as a military spouse in my career.

Describe how you support your community:
I would say the number one way I support my community is by offering warmth. Whether my friends are spouses of deployed members or active duty members with whom I have made a connection, they all know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would do anything for them (even if it is as simple as sharing a coffee). I've never sought out opportunities to make myself shine in the spotlight, but anytime I see an opportunity to serve, I jump on it. "Animal Shelter with the CGOC? Let's do it." "Date night to volunteer with the Erik Hite Foundation's 5k? I'm in." "Sure! I will make a hundred cookies for the airmen in the dorms!" I most recently began to focus on the recruiting stations around Tucson, as they are often overlooked. If you are ever feeling down, just bring them cookies or a few pizzas on their training day. The smiles on their faces will light up your world! One spouse and I most recently discussed getting a group of us to volunteer at the local hospital's children's center.

What do you advocate for? Why?
Bravery. By far, bravery is what has carried me for the last year. I understand that most military spouses have thankfully not had to experience the same trauma as I have, but every spouse has his or her own challenges. It can be easy to hide under the active duty spouse’s shadow and simply float along until their service commitment is up, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I would venture to say that many spouses have convictions to do something greater than just “to be.” I am still trying to figure out what exactly bravery looks like as a military spouse, though I know it can be reflected through a mother of four, maintaining her household and serving as president of a board. I’ve also had amazing relationships with quiet spouses who feel intimidated and excluded by key spouses in their own squadron. I’ve wondered if some of my friends were safe at home, though they promised everything is fine. Though every spouse has valuable insight, too many of us are left on mute.

How have you spread the message of your platform/advocacy?
I have mainly spread my message in two ways: in person and on Instagram. I have learned to embrace my story and use it for others' good by rebuilding my business and my reputation in our new location without forgetting the past. Even if they decided a career like mine is not suited for them, aspiring businesswomen have spoken with me and asked me raw questions that honestly encouraged them to take the next step towards their goals. Every time I find that my story encouraged someone else, it drives me to keep pressing forward on my rough days. Although instagram is not my main source of spreading my message, it shows that I am not knocked down by the pain of the past. I am instead made stronger than ever before.

What do you hope to accomplish with the AFI Military Spouse of the Year^® title?
I hope to accomplish a few things. First, people need to see that being a military spouse does not mean you have to sit still and look pretty. You can get some dirt under your nails and bear through a few scabs here and there. Second, I know there are spouses out there who are victims of sexual assault, and I want them to see that I am a survivor with a voice, and they can be as well. Lastly, I want people to recognize their calling in this world. We have one life, one chance to accomplish our goals. My professional goal is to help spouses and military members become financially stable, as so many are not. My personal goal is to reach as many spouses as I can in following their passion and being brave, letting them know there are many spouses just like me who would, in a heartbeat, pour love on them through a hug, a cup of coffee, and a listening ear.